I’ve gotten many private comments about my positive attitude.  Thank you.  I am grateful that I have the ability to see the positive aspects of this chapter, because I like feeling happy, isn’t it better than the alternative?  But just in case you thought it was all rainbows and unicorns, here’s a something that I’m feeling pretty crummy about:

Radiation.  It’s coming.  I knew it, but I have an innate ability to block out things I don’t want to think about.  I think the therapists call this denial, and I have a highly developed sense of it.   So while I’m happy that this is another step towards putting a bullet in my dead cancers head, I have been thrown back into the reality of therapy, and the ramifications that it brings.  They say I will be tired, and nauseous due to the location of the radiation, and those are only the short-term problems.  Long-term problems can be worse, but those problems are very rare, and they say that the benefits outweigh the risks.  So here I go, for three or four weeks, every day, for 20 minutes under the magic beam.

I can do it.  I can do it.  But I don’t want to.  Luckily, my father, a WWII veteran, quoted Churchill endlessly, and there is always something I can remember that reinforces my resolve:

The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.”  Winston Churchill